I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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