I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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