You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Will exercising make me less horny?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
