She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
