She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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