She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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