So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
