i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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