FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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