Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
