...so i touched it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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