you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
