Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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