She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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