great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
