when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
