I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
