yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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