So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
