TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
