he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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