did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
