Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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