I heard we made out
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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