the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
