so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
