But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
