idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
