Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
