i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
