come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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