I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my shit smells like andre
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
