Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
