in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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