is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
