I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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