you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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