We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
