Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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