i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
