I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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