yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
