hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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