so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
