My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
