reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
