I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
