I'm jealous of your bromance
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
