Don't make out with my wife yet
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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