We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
